Sunday, 3 February 2013

Bipolar disorder and drugs


Having bipolar disorder means that I tend to get different reactions to various drugs to other people so I thought I would write down my experiences. I'm not saying that all bipolar people react like this but these are my experiences. 

Weed - I get stoned after 2 tokes. And I mean reeaaally stoned. Along with this I get extreme paranoia, I hear voices and I get hypersensitivity. This tends to manifest itself in extreme discomfort to the point where I can feel where my organs etc. are. I get racing thoughts but I can't remember whether things happened in reality or in my head even if they occurred only seconds before. So now I tend to stay away from that one...  

Alcohol - I become dangerously promiscuous, all impulse control goes out the window and I wake up not remembering very much. So yeah, mostly like everybody else. However sometimes I hallucinate from alcohol. One time my friends all turned into playing cards. It also triggers severe depression for days or longer.  So I stay away from that one too. 

MDMA (Ecstasy, mud, mandy, md)
There is a reason they call it ecstasy. Everything is amazing and happy and you just love everyone. I take it on nights out instead of drinking. I like being able to remember how good my night was.. Many people get bad comedowns from md both physically and mentally. Surprisingly I only get physical comedowns which are nothing in comparison to hangovers. Md is another drug which causes me to hallucinate. One of the most common hallucinations I have is of this dark-matter-like stuff which I can move around and play with. I also had a stampede of animals on a screen race towards me which I could also interact with - I put a zebra on my friend's shoulder.. 

Ketamine (ket, wonk)
Started taking ket back when I was 16. It completely alters your perception of the world. I once told my friend that conversations were like the tunnel and apparently I was quite convincing. I often think that I travel through walls and completely trip out. I have never had a bad experience apart from getting into trouble with my parents a couple of times when I was younger. Taken in small quantities it makes me feel drunk but in control.

Shrooms (liberty caps)
DO NOT TOUCH. Cannot emphasize this enough. Another friend with bipolar also had a similar reaction. When I tried shrooms I only took a small quantity. I dread to think what might have happened had I taken more. At the time that I took them I went fucking mental manic. I was running around the house screaming and laughing hysterically. I had a tantrum because I couldn't find my pliers and spent the rest of the night alternating between throwing tantrums and laughing hysterically. Fairly interesting for my friends to watch. Unfortunately that wasn't the bad bit. 

Two days later I woke up in my friends bed, confused as to how I'd got there. I recieved a message from the boy I was seeing saying that I had called him the night before crying hysterically and blaming him for my depression (I had been stable for several months before taking the shrooms). We had only been seeing each other for about a week so I seemed like a complete psycho. In fairness he handled it pretty well. The day after I had taken the shrooms I had been hit by an extremely intense depression. What goes up must come down and all that. It was so unbearable that I mildly overdosed on temazepam in an attempt to knock myself out, hoping that it would be over when I came round. After that I can't remember anything but my housemates told me that I had spent the night wandering around the house, crying uncontrollably and collapsing in front of everyone. It took me a week for the depression to lift. 

Cocaine
Does fuck all for me. I get no effects other than not being able to sleep for the whole of the next week. Overpriced and overrated. 

And that's all I've tried so far. 




No comments:

Post a Comment